Pheww.... I finally finished writing a report on PBSM meeting, write down their names(all 120+) into the report book, take their attendance and so one.

I have to say that i wrote some bad or crappy english in my previous post. I don't know what was i typing. To summarise whatever i wrote, People always take advantage of me whenever I'm nice. ugh! I don't like being mean. Its tiring. Its very tiring to have a lot of anger and frustration (and vice versa).

I planned to go for a jog and shopping this Saturday. Unfortunately, I feel that I'm wasting my time. =.=" This is because I have debate to do. I'm the first speaker, with no experience of debating or watching a proper debate, friends as the opposition. I feel so pressured now. Yes, i have white hair, rashes, eyebags, headache everyday and droopy eyes. I have not been sleeping more than 5 hours for the past 2 weeks. No afternoon nap too. Thats is why i tend to sleep in class or in the bus.

I met my primary school BM teacher at tuition yesterday. It was 5 years ago since the last time i met him. Haha. he looks the same as before. But, he was surprised to meet me. How much I've grown and matured over the years. We had a short chat since i was having chemistry class. During chemistry, the atmosphere was...... boring. I can't stand people who talk a lot in class especially when they can't stop talking to me (ugh!), making unnecessary like slurping you drinks, burp loudly on purpose, mocking at the teacher and the list goes on. Well, there was one thing i did not expect is that they actually provide us a complete periodic table in SPM. i was like -.- -.- -.- -.-.... great!

I wanna post something abt SPCA next time.
Can anyone help me to rebut the opposition in debate??? Pleaseeee.......
I belanja ice-cream? But must be appropriate, strong, solid and Point of Information(POI)-proof. XD
I wanna go shopping....

Stars are blind

Someone asked me to teach them how to make stars with paper.
making 1000 of them? thats A LOT! seriously!
I remember doing more more or less 300 of them and my fingers feels like its burning.
yeah, it does take a really really long time. hmm... wait, i guess it depends how much you can do it in a day. It will take up a lot of time, a lot of effort, the determination to do it whole-heartedly, a way of expressing your feeling and so on especially for someone special. Some people write things on the papers before folding it into a star, cut the papers one by one from a piece of A4 paper or you could buy it. ahh.. many ways.
Sometimes i wonder, why write on it when you're not going to open all of the stars. especially when ur making 1000+ of stars. and if you unfold them, you'll have to fold them back or if you don't know how to fold it, well.... hehe...

this paragraph is nothing to do with he stars. Just something related to it.
You see, sometimes when you give/do your best, with high determination, passion, whole-heartedly and love in certain things. Especially if that something means the whole world to you, what happens after that? "that was last time", "thats was looong/ages ago". "oh, its somewhere *insertnameofplace/time*".
Sometimes things are not what you want them to be or don't turn out the way its supposed to be even though you did your best.
Yeah, it did happened to me several times.
Disappointment after disappointment. I learned the phrases to "Take Everything and give Nothing"
I'm sick and tired of doing things like that.
Under certain circumstances, i'm forced to.
So, I'm sticking to that phrase whoever or whenever it is appropriate.
People take advantage of me whenever I'm nice to them. You know who you are.

How and what would you feel if you have school on Saturday for 4 weeks straight?!?
*toooooooot*!!
I feel like shaving my head off. dont worry, im not soing it. just feel like it.
help....

Move along

Are you gonna keep it strong
Move along, move along just to make it through
and even when your hope is gone,
Move along, Move along!

Move along by All American Rejects

maybe singing this song everyday might help me a little when it comes to stress.

Fire

Looks like i can't blame some of my friends who sleeps in class even though they are sitting right in front of the teacher.

Sometimes, we would shout out "FIRE!!FIRE!!!! or API!! API!!!" just to wake up those sleepyheads.

Not that we have a class with a lot of students. Obviously every single teacher enters our class would notice who is present and who is absent. Because theres only 21 ppl! and minus 1 or 2 students who would never come to school for at least 3 or 4 days a week. So yeah, i have a really really small class compared to 5sc2, 5P and 5T who has 35-50 students in one class. Well, its a bonus for us to have such a small number of students and a huge class with only 3 rows of tables especially when our class is located at the new building. XD

2 things i don't like abt our class being at the new building is that

1. All of us are lazy to climb up the stairs to the 3rd floor. Thank god its not on the 4th floor. -.-
2. We hardly ever use our class. Especially on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Not entering our class at all. We will be moving around the school. Chemistry lab, computer lab, physics lab and sometimes the library.

guess what? we got new sets of chairs and tables. -.-

The LCD screen in class especially during chemistry and biology. I can say a lot of time wasted just to set up the projector, jammed-up laptop, laggy files especially during biology. According to our teacher, this mostly happens during our class. -.- how unlucky was that. Maybe the program doesn't like us. XD.

Well, somehow having a laptop in our class as our teacher and guidance is a good thing. Sometimes, technology annoys all of us and make our lives easier. For example. I have this habit of bringing my thumb drive to school almost everyday of the week. So, whatever PEKA or presentation on power point that has been done I can save it to my thumb drive as reference in the future. I dont have to write EVERYTHING down on a piece of paper and will be blown away or go missing or be misplaced after a few days. See, smart right?

Well, theres one thing that i forgot to do. That was making sure to scan the files before transferring it to my thumb drive. I totally forgot abt it because I am always in a rush in school. Undone homework contributes the most stress among all of us in class.
So, I opened my thumb drive today to send some files to my friends who asked for it. I did not expect anything bad to happen but it did.

I got a virus or a worm in my autorun32 program or something like that. I didn't have this worm before. Only after my teacher transferred my chemistry PEKA file i got that worm. Well, Kaspersky detected it and removed it. phew!
That is not it! After than, I can't open my thumbdrive! wth.... A few of my classmate saved some files like I did. I can't remember who saved it but beware!
So, i have to re-format my thumb drive. Its alright now.

****

For quite sometime now, i realised that I'm happy. Maybe I wasn't that happy as before but I'm happy. But a few things are still wandering in my head but I never had the time to really think abt it and even if i do, i will not allow it. I did so many things to get to what I am right now, being happy. I will never allow anything to take that part away from me.

Im not sure what made me this now. Maybe its because I was busy most of the time that distracted me. Or maybe its because I finally accepted the fact that things are what it is right now. or maybe I moved on?

While being busy, sometimes i stop doing whatever I'm doing at that moment. I remember, recall and think abt so many things. Every time it happens, it somehow made me sit still for a moment, look at the clear blur sky, and think. It made me smile most of the time but somehow i have a sad feeling deep in me. I feel like this from time to time especially after school. Well, i did not burst into tears coz.. i just can't. for the moment. Does it ever occur to you??

Maybe whatever I have with me now and all these years, it was worth while. =)

I need to prepare some points for the debate against Vi and Shaz's team. The title is "Man contribute more destruction than the advancement of the world" So, Im The Government Team means that I'm agreeing that man contribute more destruction. Its on this coming Thursday. I guess i have the point but i never write it down yet. Help me!!!

Anyway, i don't know what exactly I'm feeling now. Numb maybe?
I don't want anymore homework. I can't finish them in time.
I don't feel like going to school tomorrow.
I don't want to be scolded again during flute lesson.
I want to sleep more than 5 hours.
I want to relax without worrying abt things like homework.

I just signed up on Facebook. haha. Quite nice but i don't really have time to play with it.
Its better than Friendster. Go get one and add me! hehe.

Whee!!!!

Mental and Physical Breakdown.

I'm begging, pleading, and persuading you to stop burying me with tons of homework. I cant take it anymore!! I'm holding too many post here. Too much responsibility to fulfill. Too much homework until we upset our teachers. Time flies until you forgot to eat.

and the most recent is that I'm one of the candidate of The Debate Team in school. XD
I'm not sure weather I could handle it. Especially against Shazmiq and Vinaya who would most likely to give a lot of POI and shoot us down with a machine gun!
Well, I'll do my best. =) its my last year of high school and I'm enjoying every single bit of it.

I accidentally washed my thumb drive.
wth.
It turns out that I still can use it!!! COOL!
dont try this ok! It doesn't work for all thumb drives.
Looks like it is worth my money.

I found out that one of my ex-classmate ( diff class now) was in coma. He lost his memory, can't breathe , talk and eat by his own due to a motorcycle accident. Hmm... it would be heart-breaking for his parents. Anyway, Im not sure whether his memory lost is only temporary or permanent but I would want to wish him All the best in life, get well soon and never give up. I knew this last week but i only remember abt it today. =.=''

I have school on Saturday and the next saturday. Replacement for CNY. grr.... there goes my SPCA volunteer work, flush down into the toilet bowl. I need to get back to my slumberland where i could have some peace and quiet. No one to bother me with homework, sadness, nagging and many more.

Had a dental checkup in school today. Nothing for me to worry since I'm wearing braces and theres nothing they can do with my teeth. They said "Your teeth is very clean and in a very good condition" hehe.. Thank you!

Spicy chocolate.

For so long, I thought i could never get over it.
But finally, I did. Theres no use hanging on anymore. Although a tiny part of me still do.
Its time to let go. Theres no use looking back. But I will never ever forget them.
A burden has been lifted from me. I feel so much better. More happier than ever.
Where ever I go, a lot of things remind me about the small things we used to do.
It made me smile and laugh instead of making me sad and cry.
Chicken rice, pompom cheezles that I saved and you dropped it =/, got caned by teacher for being in my class, spilled a large coke on my jeans, and many more.
I will always remember them.
But for now, all I want is to be happy. and I am! and also to do well in my exams and studies.
Remember what you said and promised.

I don't know whether i can rely on it anymore. But I hope whatever you said was true.
I know it is.
I still believe and care.
But I will stop if you stab me again.
I'm still Denise. Even after so many years. Maybe I changed a little bit to improve myself but I am still me.

What do you see in me when you first met me??
hehe. Just a random question for you people who are reading this now.
I know it might not be appropriate to ask to some people.

ugh. feeling tired, angry and frustrated.
I just woke up from my 4-hour nap. Theres definitely a reason why i slept. I don't simply sleep in the afternoon unless i SERIOUSLY need it. and yes, I seriously need it today.
I had some gotong-royong in school today. it was quite satisfying. =) Im supposed to pass something to mr.tiew but he forgot abt me and left home early. =(
Reached home and watched some boring movie and i slept on the sofa.
when i woke up, my mum and sister are arguing AGAIN. then, out of the blue i got scolded too.
what did i do?? So she start complaining abt ME, SLEEPING just now coz i said i got a lot of work to do and im not going out of the house for dinner last night.
there goes my mood. i still have homework to do.
I signed up and started tuition last Friday at Prestasi. So, I'll be having tuition on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I'll be starting Add maths and maybe chemistry at Dinamik next month. I need to buy some books now....

sleepy me...

Theres a probability that I might not update at all next week. Coz I'll be busy everyday except on Sunday.

*edits*
Anyway, as of of you people know from the news, radio, newspaper, online, posters plastered everywhere in Ampang, PJ and so on, everyone is searching for a 5-year-old girl, Sharlinie who went missing a few days ago. Poor girl. I feel really afraid for her. I hope she doesn't end up like Nurin's case. What on earth are those people thinking kidnapping young girls?? A trend? ugh!!! Why would someone wanna kidnap a 5-year-old girl???!!!?!?! Everyone is looking for her. No one wants the same incident to be repeated. Well, I really really really hope she will be returned/found ASAP.

Now, I have to list down a thousand reasons before going out alone or walking home alone like what i did on wednesday or walking alone to tuition, and so on. What was I thinking walking home alone on wednesday?? I must be out of my mind.

Hmm... These 2 pictures look almost alike. its the way i tilt my head but the opposite side. omg.


Here is something i got from a blogger.

KSP offers the following tips to help parents keep their children safe:

• Know where your children are at al times. Know the names of their friends and their addresses and phone numbers.
• Have you children check in with you when they arrive or depart from a location or when there is a change of plans.
• Never leave a child unattended in a vehicle, whether it is running or not.
• Remind children never to hitchhike.
• Screen babysitters and caregivers. Check out references with other families.
• If your child is missing from home, search the house thoroughly including closets, piles of laundry, in and under beds, inside large appliances and vehicles, including trunks - anywhere a child could crawl or hide. Search the yard surrounding your home and your neighbors.
• If you still cannot find your child, call your law enforcement agency immediately. When a child is missing, there is no waiting period necessary before a report can be taken.
• When you call law enforcement, provide you child’s name, date of birth, weight, height and any other identifiers such as eyeglasses and braces. Tell them when you noticed the child was missing and what clothing they were wearing (include colors, brand names, rips and patterns, accessories such as barrettes, ribbons, earrings, cell phones, beepers, purses, toys, etc.). Provide names of any medication the child takes, when it was last taken and when it is due next.
• Look around your home for clues to your child’s whereabouts or destination of travel. Try not to disturb anything in the child’s room that could aid in locating them.
• Have a recent head-and-shoulders, school portrait-type color photo of your child in which the face is clearly seen in clear focus. If possible, it should be in a digitized form on a compact disk (CD) to minimize the time required to distribute it to law enforcement. The photo should be updated at least every six months for children six years of age or younger or once a year for those older.
• If your child disappears in a store, notify the store manager or security office. Then immediately call your local law enforcement agency.
• Teach your children their complete name, age, address and phone number from an early age.
• Teach your children how to operate a telephone/cell phone and how to dial 9-9-9
• Teach your children never to give out personal information on the phone or online. Don’t tell anyone they are home alone.
• Teach your children never to answer the door without an adult present.

System Shutting Down *updated*

What a week! Its stressful and tiring. How would you feel if you finish school at 2.30 almost EVERYDAY except Friday??!? Extra school activities until 4.30?? and tuition after that?!
Besides the stress of school like homework, presentations, assignments, library duties and the list goes on, it was alright. I've been eating like I have not eat in 2 weeks! Sleeping at the wrong time of the day and I ended up staying up so late at night that i couldn't even open my eyes the next day.

Talk about homeworks. I have tons of them! Theres too many of them! How can you remember them? Ofcourse I don't! grrrr...... Almost all the teacher will be saying " I want all of you to finish up your Biology, Chemistry, Physics PEKA, Ujian Lisan for english and BM, Moral presentation, EST presentation, Sejarah Notes on powerpoint and i can't remember anymore ASAP" "I want to get it over and done with so that we could do A LOT of revision by August" and so on..

Last year, we have 21 students in our class. But this year, we only have 20 students. Thats because one of them shifted to a better place. Yeap, as all of you know, Derrick shifted to SMK Taman SEA. It seems that he's loving it there. All of us here miss you!!
Then, i heard a rumor that theres a new kid joining us! Well..... I was curious to know who is it la. I don't mind weather that person is a male/female. But, I was just hoping for a good one la. But, it turns out to be the opposite of what i expected. I'm not too sure what to say about him coz all of us only met him once. But my first impression of him was. "OMG! is he lost?" Ofcourse i didn't say it out loud. I'm not judging the book by its cover but he looks like those indian gangster type of person with the gay-type of school pants or you can say those disco type of pants back in the 70's. Aiyah, no more comments.

As usual every year, our class would have a meeting about the AJK for our class. This year I was elected as AJK Keceriaan dan kebersihan. Hmmm.... that means more work decorating the class. theres more but i can't remember them.

to be continued....
too tired. Denise's system is shutting down in 1 minute.

I got all of my text books on Monday. All 17 of them. That amount of text books caused my hand to ache the next day. haha! After a very long queue since last week thursday, finally i got it all. Hmm... I can say The books were alright. 50% of the books were brand new, 30% was still in good condition although it has been used by a few people and the other 20% were in an ugly contidion. SERIOUSLY! The books were as soft as silk, scribbles, dirty and torn a bit at the sides. I feel very uncomfortable with that. Its because every year i always have new books bought for myself. Brand new as in I'm the first person who will be using it.

I shouldn't complain but Im doing it anyway. Theres one particular book that really got on my nerves. Sejarah text book. Almost all of the pages in the book were scribbles and underlined with pencil!!! How am I supposed to read it??!!?!?! ALL 264 PAGES OF IT!!!! So, i checked who was the previous owner of the book. It turns out to be a girl. my gawd! how can you possibly read it? So, i decided to erase everything that was scribbles n underlined in pencil. how idiotic. imagine IF I'm using a lousy eraser which will produce a lot of dust when you're erasing. but I used the one that say "Dust Free" or "Dust will stick/roll together" or something like that. Well, an eraser is still an eraser. It still produces dust and no, its not dust free.

It took me abt 30 minutes to erase everything. Anyway, I should appreciate what I have now. Unlike some of my friends who did not get all of the text books required.

I had the freakiest day ever. Wednesday.

Everything went well until I had a Science and Maths society meeting until 2.30. It was supposed to be until 2.30 but it lasted until 2.45 because I was elected as the treasurer of the society. I was rushing as I did not want to miss the bus. True enough, I missed it.
With no time to spare, I decided to walk home since I'll be having my flute lesson at 3.30. I don't know what was I thinking about walking home. ALONE! Especially when theres a lot of these rape,murder,kidnap cases. Somehow i never thought of that as I was rushing home to bathe and eat a little. I was starving! I had gastric that time. So, I took out a tablet of Magnesium Trisilicate to neautralise my acidic tummy. It worked! While walking home, I stumbled across a RM1 note. How lucky was that? I picked it up and continued my journey home. It was a hot day and i reached home drenched with sweat at 3.10

I took a quick shower and ate a packet of twiggies. Soon, i got an sms from my teacher saying that he will be a little late. oh my.... i should have ate a bit more as i didn't want to suffocate during lesson because i was full. I start warming up a little in my room and quickly get my stuff ready for lesson. Guess what happened after that? inconsiderate Ellise was eating Durians. ^&*@!!!!! It stinks!!!! haih..... how unfortunate.

So, my teacher reached at 3.50 and my lesson lasted for 1 hour and 30 minutes. Extra 30 minutes coz it was raining cats and dogs. Theres no way my teacher would get out without getting wet even with an umbrella. So, we played some duets. I messed up too many time. Suddenly, my rhythm was horrible coz the song was too slow. My head wasn't there! It was wandering somewhere else.

The reason : To many phone calls and msgs. My phone was ringing for like 10 minutes straight. haih..... I forgot to set it silent. Then, the rain was not as heavy as before and my teacher left. After he left, I realised that the clothes were still outside. WET! *smacks my head* f***. I forgot to take out the clothes. So, where was ellise at that time? SLEEPING. ughh.......!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, thats not it. It was 5.15 and i still did not eat my lunch yet. damn. I forgot abt lunch. so, i quickly ate my huge plate of rice filled with beef and vege on it and microwave it. My mum came home and asked me. "Why now only ur eating???" Then, I took a REAL BATH.

Theres goes my day. with tons of homework to do.
until next time. bye! i need to iron my clothes now.

Distraction

Why do i feel so damn sleepy all day? Oh gawd... I really need to adjust my sleeping hours. During the holidays, my usual sleeping hours is at 3a.m and I'll be up at 11 am or 12 noon. So yeah, I feel sleepy all the time now. Thank god I'm not like Shazmiq who sleeps in almost every single class except during maths or add maths. haha. I wonder how can he afford to sleep in class! Whether his head is on the table, chair or sleeping while sitting down. haha.

Well, I haven't get any of my text books yet and almost every teacher were asking "where are your text books??" lol... This year, I think I'll go bonkers especially when school ends at 3pm/2.30 pm everyday except friday. That is not it. with extra activities after school untill 4.30pm. and tuition. wth!! I'm planning to sign up for another activity outside school.. I'm not sure whether I'll have time for it. Flute lesson? Study? O.O

So, having all those things in my schedule, I can't afford to handle any distraction which i had last year. It affected me really badly. I almost failed in my exams, almost gave up my flute and many more that you might not wanna know. No more. Especially this year. I can't deal with another similar situation AGAIN. and yes, this is a warning. The anger in me has unleashed! Muahahahaha... I can't trust people easily now although it sounds and looks convincing. However, I only trust a few selected people like.... thats is only for me to know and you to find out. The reason is, the easier i trust a person, the easier I'll get hurt whether for short term or long term. So, another disappointment, headache or heartache and problem. haha. Eventually.

Please don't spam my cbox. Its very annoying.

I won't be updating so often for a while now. bye!

School!

When you make a promise to someone, have you ever thought long enough and think deep enough that you will keep that promise whether it is short-term or long-term. You can't just simple promise someone and then say you can't afford to keep them anymore. So, why promise in the first place? Freaked-minded.

Somehow, i can sense something now. You don't have to tell me. What you say and what you do doesn't make sense at all. I always stare blankly at nothing figuring out what I'm hearing. I don't understand. Its not that i can't accept certain things. Its because i just don't understand as in i-don't-understand how to do this freaking physics question! The sentence "I don't understand how I'm feeling now" or "I'm a confused person now" or "I'm trying to figure out things in my head" or whatever it is, to me now, its just a plot that you planned from the very beginning. Now, I understand why. I know why the storyline is like that. You're not worth my tears or love. I'm glad i know why now and I'm truly, madly, deeply lucky and glad that it is over now. What goes around, comes all the way back around. You did it once, theres a very high chance you'll do it again. You still care? haha. I don't think so.

So, First day of school was great!! =D I really enjoyed myself! Its the best first-day of school in high school. So, almost everything was still the same. Got into my class, first thing to do... Get ready with tissue papers. Dust. omigawd. Its like 1mm thick of dust on my chair! =.=" biasalah... I was hoping to get my textbook so that i don't have to worry abt it for too long. . oh yea.. i was kinda shocked when our head mistress announced that our sch's pmr results dropped abt 10%. O.O it also means that pmr candidates of 2006 did better than last year's candidates and the year before. haha. can't beat my batch pmr results.

other than that, it was a fun and tiring day. slept for 2 hours and did homework. lol.. 1st day already got homework. So, i'll be quite busy sometimes from now on. However, i still have time to do my own things like relaxing, online, tv, doing nothing etc..

Happy New Year 2008!

I have a feeling that 2008 will be a great year for me. So, this will be my first post for this year. 2007 wasn't as good as I want/thought it would be. Thanks to a few people who ruined. But, nevermind. that was so yesterday. I shouldn't look back. I got a new direction now. I know what i want to achieve in life. Unfortunately, i realised that not everything can go as smooth as what I want. I learned that i should not be too attached to anyone i know. I learned I should always move on no matter how bad it is. Leave those people who try to hurt me. I also learned that people can can change as fast as lightning.

Yeap, now i know what i should do now. No one will stop me or discourage me. Thanks to every one, especially my friends who were very supportive and was there for me through good times or bad times. Anyway, I made a list for my New Year's Resolution. =)

So.... This year will also be my last year of high school and I will be sitting for SPM. omg.... I can't believe this. So, it will also be a busy year for me. School, extra classes, extra school activity, tuition, lesson, studying and maybe i might take up one or two activities outside school. Looks like I'll be studying like a nerd/mad person for SPM. haha. more study=more stress=tired=mood swing=white/grey hair. omg. I can't believe that I'm going through another year of this!

Im saving up my money to buy myself a sun glasses, a brand new phone, handbag(although my current one is still in good shape) and some other things that i might not even though of it yet.

Braun Buffel.
I love you!

Anyway,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
AND MAY IT BRING LOTS OF LOVE, HAPPINESS, BEST OF LUCK, HEALTH,
PROSPERITY AND BLESSINGS.

Tough Times Never Last, But tough People Do.

A quote by Kok Siang -
Love Me or Hate Me. Hate my opinions, my intelligence, my arrogance, my knowledge.
Hate that I'm loved for the same reason.

i agree with that, Kok Siang. Some people might hate anything abt a person but at the same time they are loved for the same reason.