Life Updates I

Excuse me for my lack of updates. I've been lazy to blog these days. So, if you're still reading my blog, I love youuu!! lol. =D Thanks for putting the effort to drop by.

As you can see my chatbox on the right column has been spammed by idiots and so, don't bother posting anything there coz I don't think I bother reading it anymore. I might even take out the chatbox, well.. later lah!

Life so far has been... well okay, I suppose? I have my ups and downs but life has to go on. A lot of things happened for the past couple of months and definitely there are a lot of changes as well. I'll be turning 20 this year (omg, I don't feel like my age) and I have more responsibilities, more things to worry and think about, more time spent on building up my career and much much more.

For the past 3 months I've been thinking and stressing out on so many things. Studies, career, relationships, money, time, my health, parents and definitely my future. Having all these spinning round and round in my mind like plates of sushi's from Sushi King passing by, almost never ending. I spent my whole day, almost everyday thinking about all these things and its frustrating that I can't have a solution for all of them.

Recently, I just got my A-Levels results. One thing I could say is that I'm not happy with it. I saw my hopes and dreams crash and burn with just a click of my computer mouse as I saw the grades popped up on my computer screen. I felt numb for awhile and for the first time in my life frankly, I felt totally lost. I felt like I didn't know what the hell was I doing and what am I supposed to do at that moment. For the next few days, I was not in the mood for anything and it went on like that for the rest of the week. I even came up with this crazy idea to stop studying, stay home, get married to a billionaire, become a housewife and produce babies. =/ Stupid me, i've spent so many years studying all my life with all those sleepless nights, fevers and stress just to end up to become  a fulltime housewife??! No. Crazy ahh?? Even if my future husband is filthy rich, I don't ever wanna end up being a stay-at-home mummy. Girls, we gotta' be independent and support yourself. =)

What about money? Well, its Chinese New Year.. So, I got alotta Angpau's? teeheehee. Okay, lets be more serious here. Money will always be an issue we all talk about no matter how rich or poor you are. Things are getting more expensive these days or maybe its just me, that I've been spending too much on expensive things despite loving cheap and if possible, free things. lol. Money ain't easy to earn. So people, if you're too rich and you don't know what to spend on, spend on me(or ppl like me). Pay for my education so that I can have more and better choices. Don't spend it on unnecessary things like building more skyscrapers or bridges or go to the moon or whatever that are useless.

Time is of the essence. Time is precious. time is definitely running out. From now, I'll be quite busy, busier than before. It has been giving me headaches thinking about time, in general. *exhales*

For thr past two or three months, I had fever twice already and its not a good sign. The most recent one would be during the first night of CNY when I was at my hometown, Batu Pahat. I was so unfortunate to fall ill where my whole family and relatives had the chance to actually meet up and enjoy each other's company. Instead of doing that, I spent my days sleeping with tissue papers everywhere. I don't know if it has a hay fever due to allergies to my cousins dogs or theres a possibility that its the weather or stress or I'm just unlucky or its just everything I've just mentioned. sighs. Now, I feel so much better except that i have flu, nose block, dry throat and a coarse voice from time to time. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

My parents, Aww, I love them to bits although I don't show it. They're getting older and I'm getting more afraid and worried for them. I don't wanna like mention it but they're getting old. You know what I'm talking about don't you?? =/ Hmmm. I just love having them around and I can't imagine how my days would be like without them. I wish that they will forever be blessed and showered with happiness, good health, prosperity, long life, luck, love and everything nice, especially my mum's cooking skills. =D

Relationships. I'm a bit sensitive and personal when it comes to this topic as it is a sensitive and personal matter.. I prefer keeping this to myself and I only share it with the people I can totally trust. For all I can say is that I never regret for what had happened between us and what we had. =) We may not be right for each other as more than just friends but we'll be okay. I will always remember and cherish the good times we had and I'll keep them close to my heart. Whatever bad memories we had was just a part of growing up, the experience and its just life. It has taught me to be wiser and careful in the future. I hate you and myself for all the bad memories we had. I still care for you and I will always remember you. Thank you for everything, for caring for me, for being there for me, for loving me and everything. A big thank you to your family too. =) Take care, Afiq. I wish you all the best in whatever you're doing, especially the things you have passion for. I would like to apologize for the mean things I said, the arguments I caused and all the things I did which hurt your feeling when we were together. For all that, I'm truly sorry. You know, it will take me some time to actually let this settle down before I move on. Moving on is never easy, it never was and it will never be easy. Moving on does not always mean we gave up. It heals. As much as i don't believe it when people told me, trust me, time will heal the broken heart when you move on. Just, don't give up trying again. Don't be afraid to love again. =)

Huaaaaa! I feel so emo now and its draining my energy. =(  I don't feel well. Besides, my throat and flu are killing me. Need to sleep.

I've got lots more going on but that's all I'm willing to share for now, until next time... =)

p/s : nunca te rindas! =D

Of broken promises and disappointments

source : here.

If only you could understand how this heart feels.

As it would never feel the same way anymore.

Disappointments one after another. I want it to end.

or I will.

A not so lovely week.

For the past 1 week, I felt different. I felt emotionally different. I don't know if my heart changed or it stays the same because I feel different.

I feel tired. Physically and Emotionally, I'm tired. I really am. College starts as early as 8 a.m. At 7.15 a.m, I am already in the car with my dad nagging at me. Not a good start for the day. It has been going on for almost a week and I hate being nagged at every morning. When I'm in college, its the only time where I don't remember the pain I have in this heavy heart. In college, is where I met Stress.

Stress makes me worry. It makes me work hard for what I want to acheive now and later on in life. I'm worried. Sometimes, I worry too much. It has come to a point where I just don't give a damn anymore.

The things I have to study and the work I have to finish, piles up.

I got home from college. I was dead beat. Afternoon naps are my escapism from reality. I feel contented that I dont have to worry for a few hours in a day. Sometimes, afternoon naps turns into a 12-hour sleep. I'll be awake the next morning, getting ready for college. The cycle repeats.

For the past 1 week, I felt really different. I don't know where my heart is. I start to question myself what Love is. For a moment I knew what Love is.

I could spend hours talking on the phone with never-ending things to tell you. Even if we hung up the phone 5 minutes ago.

I used to go to sleep feeling contented and blissful because I somehow feel that the next day would be another day I felt like I could jump around with joy written all over my face.

I love the way you wrap your hands around my waist.

I love it when you talk to me in that cute voice which makes feel like pinching your cheeks.

I love you more than I love Banana Leaf Rice.

I always believe that it is vital to be truthful and to be honest with yourself, with life and also the people you love.

*

Now, since the day I told you to go home to Sherlock Holmes, I felt like I've lost part of my heart as it filled itself with void.

I couldn't look into your eyes the same way anymore because I see it differently now.

My feelings fluctuates drastically.

I keep reminding myself what we've gone through, the things you do that brightens up my day. Sometimes, it makes me smile every night before I go to sleep. Hoping that this sad feeling will go away and hoping that it was just temporary.

I accept it for what it is.

I gave Love a chance.

It still hurts.

and for now, I'm lost with words.

I just wanna sleep....

*throat thickens...*

Of Surprises and Laughters

Last week, I felt like shit. Everything seems wrong and I was feeling annoyed most of the time. Well, at least that did not last for long coz everything turned up side down this week.

Have you ever felt so happy at some point of your life and then everything just starts to crumble and tear apart.. Or have you every laughed so much and so hard that your stomach hurts and you started tearing and the next moment you'll be all sad and feel like crying?

Out of frustration, i went to with my high school friends at Pavilion.

Yes, I do love Kay-Elle. =D

I had this Chocolate Waffle with Vanilla Ice cream at The Chocolate Lounge. It was so-so lah. I've tasted better waffles. The strawberries are awesome. Overall, I tink that the presentation of the food looks good but the taste of it? Not really.

We watched Obsessed starring Ali Larter and Beyonce Knowles and Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince. Comparing these two movies, Obsessed was much better on the whole. HP was kinda draggy and the fact that they can't squeeze the whole book in one movie. It's understandable.

We had Nando's for dinner. =D

I love Garlic sauce. =D

you know, every time my friend and I eat at Nando's we always have the tendency to torture the waiter/waitress with the product knowledge and request for more basting sauce as not many people know what the hell is basting sauce.

We had fun and as usual we went home late.


Spot the difference.
LOL
TKS, your face seems like its plastered in both pictures. No difference. XD
Billy's face looks... AHAHAHAHA!!

***

My class has a new General Paper from this week onwards. Some of my classmates were kinda sad coz we're getting a new teacher. From my experience, when we have a new teacher things are gonna change. Its either for the better or worse. This time, we have a better one. =D For that, I don't feel sad anymore. Our new GP teacher is so professional and yet so much fun. Now, I am always looking forward for her next class. The sad part is now that next week, I gotta miss 2 hours of her class. =(

I got almost all my assessment results. This is the reason why I felt all emo last week. Some I did good but the others are just... not up to my expectations.

On Wednesday, I was at the CIT Centre with Mei Yean in college with time to kill from 2-3pm until the next class. Out of no where,I got a phone call from the boyfriend.

I was quite surprised when he called me at this hour. ahahaha.. Wait wait.. That's not the main surprise. =DD We had a small talk and then came the surprise...

"Denise... What time you finish your class today??"
and I said, "I finish at 4 today. Whyyyyy???"
He said, "I finish early today and I'm going to your college later to fetch you home"

I was black for a second. The next thing I knew my heart was jumping in excitement but I couldn't express myself coz I was in a room filled with people and the room was quiet. Mei Yean who was sitting beside me was already wondering what was it all about. XD

"Really??? =D Ahhhhhh!!! This is the surprise you were hiding from me!"
"Hahahaha.. Yeah!! Surprise!!"
"You do know where is my college right??
"Yeahh... you told me before.."
"Are you sure"
"I'm sureee...."
"ahahahaha... okay. wahhh.. see.. someone got a P license already"
"yea la.... what to do.. =P I'll see you soon alright!"

I told Mei Yean and Wye Kik about it and they were curious to know how he looks like.. So, both of them walked out and waited with me. Thank you!!! =D

I was so happy to see the boyfriend again! =DDD Yea la, both of us were so busy with our own things to do that we hardly see each other these days. With him starting his 2nd semester and I just finish my assessment last week and still catching up with my syllabus coz I'm kinda left behind. Anyway, he introduced me to a song that made me laugh even more. The combination of songs are hilarious like chocolate rain, go go power rangers, the numa numa song etc. Some of them made me go awww like a whole new world, let it be, when you say nothing at all etc.. XD We sang along to some of the song that we knew. We couldn't stop smiling and laughing along with the songs! =DD



I don't know how long it took you to drive from your college to mine coz its like from one end to the other plus the traffic jam. It may not be a big thing for some of you but it is for me and I truly appreciate it as it carved a smile in my heart, like you always do.. =)

Later that night, it suddenly crossed my mind that we should do something for Mei Yean's Birthday. So, I quickly buzzed wye kik to discuss what to do. I had a rough idea and we're gonna make it happen. So, the next day in college we asked the guys if they agree and they agreed without hesitation. So, wye kik and I carried out our plan. We head back to Ampang to get Mei yean's Birthday present but couldn't find any. So, we went to KLCC knowing that it is already 5pm and we're gonna be stuck in a traffic jam.

We walked round an round, searched high and low for the perfect birthday present. At the end of the day, we found it! I was admiring at one of the presents we got for her. I was in awed.

We got her a bouquet of flowers!!!! Wye Kik and I we so thrilled.
I can't stop admiring and I couldn't stop saying that I love the the flowers.

Wye Kik cannot came up with this cute idea to take a picture with his one of a kind yellow car with the yellow roses.

AHAHAHAHAHA!! So cute lah..

We can't help it okay..

We took each of the presents home and brought it to college the next day..
In the morning, I already saw mei Yean in class and I was holding the cake with me. I was wondering aiyahh how to hide this so that she wouldn't see it.


So, I used the back door of the class and put the cake behind Shao Wen's seat. I showed up just like every other day and nothing happened. XD It was hard to do as I was worried that she would turn back and see the box of cake.

Wye Kik on the other hand, had to hide the bouquet of flowers in his car and get it after class to surprise her. The whole class sang Happy Birthday for her! Erin gave a kiss on her cheek! XD

Ok lah, this post of gonna be really long, so I'll post up some pictures and insert some captions..

She was so surprised that we got her flowers.

She couldn't stop saying
"Ahh...! I've got flowers! =DDD"

She loved it so much. Gosh..
I would love it too if I got a bouquet of flowers.

Wye Kik asked me, Do girls love flowers?? Coz, i don't think my girlfriend loves flowers.
So I said, girls will always love flowers no matter how cliche it is.
Do you love flowers??
Although I'm allergic to flower pollen, I love flowers very much.

Tho who contributed,

Chester aka Wei Kee
The singer/artist/math pro in our group.
He can really sing and draw. Although he may seem quiet the first time I met him but he may not be as quiet as I thought the first time coz maybe he was shy to express himself. Don't worry my friend.. =D You'll get over that with time.

Shi Jun aka "Gam Yu gor gor"
or something like that.. Correct me if I'm wrong. It means that a guy who loves to disturb girls. or something like that. Ahahahaha. I known him since high school and we're classmates up to today.

Joel aka Mr. Curly/ Curly Fries/Tonic water
There are a lot more nicknames for joel. We always tease him coz of his curly hair.
I mean, c'mon how often do you come across a guy with VERY curly hair? XDDD

Larry aka Our class rep.
The first time I noticed about him was his bag. It looks like a shell coz its made of plastic and oh! he also looks like the character in Dragon Ball who has the turtle shell minus out the beard and stick. XDD


Wye Kik aka The Guy with The YELLOW Car
Very talkative and loves to say the word "fucked up" XDD
Always has something to joke about and make us laugh. He's the one who nicknamed me Elmo. He said that he's gonna get me an Elmo shirt for my birthday. wth XDD


Me! aka Elmo

this picture has an internal joke in it.

A wish was made and its time to cut the cake. =D

Look at their expressions. Priceless. =D

Poor guy who was inconsolable.

Damn good right they pose. XD

Wye Kik and chester attempting to look like gay lovers but failed miserably.
XDD At least it made us laughed like crazy.

Mei yean looking so pretty. XD


Our eye bags. goodness.

Emo fella.

Mei Yean was carrying the flowers all around college and boy, everyone was staring at her. She was too shy to even look at anyone because of the expression on their faces. Most of them were like, "Woah, look! She got flowers", "eh eh, look at that girl with flowers".
XD

Before lecture class started, Wye Kik and I made a scene that made everyone jaw dropped in the lecture hall. It was all for fun and nothing more. XD

(video currently not available. I haven't got the video sent to me yet.)

After the last lecture class, All of us wanted to go eat the delicious Pan Mee that Erin was telling us Near Wangsa Maju Station.It was quite good I suppose.. Maybe it's because its spicy. It's not really one of a kind but at least it spiced up my taste buds and filled up my stomach.


You see.... Wye Kik's car is exceptionally unique. Striking yellow and the shape itself is odd. Even Mei Yean also can't help but to take a picture with it. XD

On our way back, Joel was driving infront Wye Kik's car. At the trafic light, wye kik honked at Joel and this is what he replied.


The Universal Sign.

At another Junction,

I don't know if anyone noticed it but,



HE DID IT AGAIN!!!

Wye Kik, Mei Yean, Vi, Shi Jun and I burst into laughters! XDDD

Before I end this post (I know its really long),

You're legal!!

"ahhhh! I've got flowers =DDDD"

ahhh... The crazy things we do in college. hehehehe.

ps : there are a lot more pictures actually.. XD

I really don't want this happy feeling to fade away, again. But, whatever it is, I'll take each day as it comes no matter what happens. =)

I can't

help not getting all stressed up like the world is gonna end coz I am feeling all stressed up like the world is gonna end.

I don't know where else to vent out my innermost frustration. I can't bottle up my feelings anymore as it is too full and it is spilling out of the bottle bit by bit when I'm being shaken by tiny little things.

I apologise if I do annoy anyone in the process of whining and complaining.. I seriously can't keep it all inside anymore. I wanna cry my heart out hoping that it would mend it a little bit which would be more than enough. I'm just waiting for that breaking point to happen. When, you may ask? I don't know.. Soon?

Commercials. =)

I was watching some videos Teddy sent to me. I felt touched and sad while watching the video. I posted this up coz I thought its worth watching. Very meaningful.



and also this.




Oh! this video below is so adorable!!!!! A must watch!! I found this video while watching the previous videos. It made me laughed or at least smile.




Damn, I love these kinds of commercials.