My A Levels exam ended two and a half weeks ago. My college days also ended two and a half weeks ago. Its hard to believe how so many things changed in one and a half years.
I've met so many people and made so many friends from all walks of life. I've learnt a whole lot of things in A Levels which is a deeper understanding about the world we live in.
Tunku Abdul Rahman College also known as TARC was never the first choice of colleges in my list. My parents were the one who persuaded me to study A Levels here. They said there is no point paying so much more on tuition fees like in Taylor's or HELP for the same paper that the whole world is gonna sit for. Except that HELP College is Edexcel whereas TARC and Taylors offer Cambridge A Levels. Being a banana in TARC, I discovered I wasn't alone coz there were many other people in the same shoes as I am. My lecturers are overall awesome people. They're dedicated, obviously very knowledgeable, hardworking and funny people. There are a few lecturer who were..... well, not so good in my opinion. Not so good in terms of delivering the knowledge. For what its worth, I'm glad that I chose TARC. =)
I can't sum everything about my college life in one post. I should have done that before but I'm lazy to do so. It has been a bittersweet year. After all the exams stress, sleepless nights, falling sick so many times and hours of studying, all of those things has come to an end. Despite suffering academically, I totally enjoyed the company of my college mates who never fail to brighten up my day. There were misunderstanding and differences in opinion and character, but thats just life. I cannot please everyone.
Now, I'm at home most of the time missing the days where I have to wake up as early as 6 a.m. and drive to college early just to get a parking spot. (coz I don't have a car sticker to park inside the college compound) I miss attending lecture classes where I get to chit chat with friends from other classes and sleep during Biology lectures coz it was really monotonous and boring. I miss having lunch with different groups of friends. I miss my chemistry lectures and Mr Loh, our Chemistry Lecturer with is sarcasm, funny and eccentric personality that never failed to somehow entertain all of us and boost our motivation to do better not just in our studies but as a whole individual. oh god, I miss everything..
Sunday, 5 December 2010
Tuesday, 30 November 2010
Monday, 29 November 2010
Friday, 26 November 2010
from boys to men.
Friday, 29 October 2010
Life.
Today, I woke up listening to the sound of speeding cars outside my window, the screeching sound of the car brakes. The neighbour downstairs are drilling their walls. At this hour?
As usual, I rose up from my bed leaving my bed just as it is. I gave up making my bed 3 months ago. Breakfast was non-existent because I never woke up any earlier than 12 noon. Lunch was either leftover food or fast food or chicken rice. Sometimes I don't even eat because I was sick of eating out and I don't know what else to eat.
The best part in the afternoon was taking a bath. I looked in the mirror everyday thinking of whether or not should I wash my hair today? I'll flipped my hair around trying to make some silly hairstyles or trying to figure out if I should change my hairstyle. I realised my hair is too long already. Its length is more than enough to cover my breasts and for whatever reason, I don't wanna cut them and leave it as it is. My mum complains that theres way too much hair on the floor nowadays and also in the toilet. Obviously its mine. Even my room is filled with hair almost everywhere. My pillow, my bed, study table, floor, dustbin and even in my drawers. Yes, I'm losing a lot of hair but my hair is still as thick as it is.
I stay at home most of the days for the past 2 months. I barely go to college and I only go when I needed to. My exams took a toll on my sleeping hours and ofcourse my life. I spent the rest of my day locked up inside my room studying although I take very frequent breaks to the toilet, kitchen and sometimes going online.
For dinner, food was always take aways. I look forward for dinner because at least I have my mum and Elle around to eat together. I eat lunch alone most of my time. Occasionally with friends. My dad wasn't always around having dinner with us. Well, actually for the past few years , my dad was never together with us in one table eating with us. The 3 of used somehow got used to eating just the 3 of us. Even if he joined us for dinner, things aren't the same. Somehow its awkward coz I don't know what to say to him. My dad spends most of his time watching telly. I get very defensive if he were to scold me abt things.
I spend the rest of my night studying. I felt contented at where am I at that time. I know I was doing this for my future and sometimes I can imagine that I'll always look back and think about how much effort I've put in to do well for my A Levels. Sometimes, all I could think of is giving up. But I can never imagine how my life would turn out if I gave up. All i could think of is not giving up and continue to whatever I was doing. A levels is fucking hard. I can now safely say that I hate whatever I've learnt is high school because it was never enough to prepare myself for what A Levels has to offer to me, study wise. The reason why I felt like giving up because I keep failing in my tests after spending so much time and effort for it. But somehow or another I manage to survive. I've achieved results within my expectations and not by others.
I sleep at 3 am almost everyday. Sometimes at 5 am.
I've become lazy in certain ways because I am too tired to care. I've lost quite a lot of weight. I was 52 kilos in January and now, I'm 45 kilos. I've lost 3 sizes when I bought a new pair of jeans. After buying that pair of jeans, it finally hit me that I need to do something.
I realised I kept everything to myself. Almost every feeling, every anger, every sadness, every laughter, everything I kept it sealed within me. I do open up sometimes but I'm picky on who I let it out to. Once, I thought I had friends I could rely on and I shared my feeling with them and only to find out that they used whatever i said just to screw me up at the end of the day. People are cruel. Some pretend to be your best friend just to dig out information from you and use them to their advantage. That was a long time ago and since that moment, I trusted no one but myself. I trusted my heart on who to put my trust on.
For that, I'm ever so grateful for the people who were there for me whenever I needed them. I know that they will always be here for me. I'll never take advantage for their constant support. I apologize if I ever made any of you feel like I'm burden or sometimes annoying. LOL.
omg, I should stop here. I know I don't have many readers. If you people need anyone to talk to, you can always call me. I'm a good listener.
anyway, gtg! I just got a phone call one of my friend got into an accident! @@!!
Life is so unpredictable.
As usual, I rose up from my bed leaving my bed just as it is. I gave up making my bed 3 months ago. Breakfast was non-existent because I never woke up any earlier than 12 noon. Lunch was either leftover food or fast food or chicken rice. Sometimes I don't even eat because I was sick of eating out and I don't know what else to eat.
The best part in the afternoon was taking a bath. I looked in the mirror everyday thinking of whether or not should I wash my hair today? I'll flipped my hair around trying to make some silly hairstyles or trying to figure out if I should change my hairstyle. I realised my hair is too long already. Its length is more than enough to cover my breasts and for whatever reason, I don't wanna cut them and leave it as it is. My mum complains that theres way too much hair on the floor nowadays and also in the toilet. Obviously its mine. Even my room is filled with hair almost everywhere. My pillow, my bed, study table, floor, dustbin and even in my drawers. Yes, I'm losing a lot of hair but my hair is still as thick as it is.
I stay at home most of the days for the past 2 months. I barely go to college and I only go when I needed to. My exams took a toll on my sleeping hours and ofcourse my life. I spent the rest of my day locked up inside my room studying although I take very frequent breaks to the toilet, kitchen and sometimes going online.
For dinner, food was always take aways. I look forward for dinner because at least I have my mum and Elle around to eat together. I eat lunch alone most of my time. Occasionally with friends. My dad wasn't always around having dinner with us. Well, actually for the past few years , my dad was never together with us in one table eating with us. The 3 of used somehow got used to eating just the 3 of us. Even if he joined us for dinner, things aren't the same. Somehow its awkward coz I don't know what to say to him. My dad spends most of his time watching telly. I get very defensive if he were to scold me abt things.
I spend the rest of my night studying. I felt contented at where am I at that time. I know I was doing this for my future and sometimes I can imagine that I'll always look back and think about how much effort I've put in to do well for my A Levels. Sometimes, all I could think of is giving up. But I can never imagine how my life would turn out if I gave up. All i could think of is not giving up and continue to whatever I was doing. A levels is fucking hard. I can now safely say that I hate whatever I've learnt is high school because it was never enough to prepare myself for what A Levels has to offer to me, study wise. The reason why I felt like giving up because I keep failing in my tests after spending so much time and effort for it. But somehow or another I manage to survive. I've achieved results within my expectations and not by others.
I sleep at 3 am almost everyday. Sometimes at 5 am.
I've become lazy in certain ways because I am too tired to care. I've lost quite a lot of weight. I was 52 kilos in January and now, I'm 45 kilos. I've lost 3 sizes when I bought a new pair of jeans. After buying that pair of jeans, it finally hit me that I need to do something.
I realised I kept everything to myself. Almost every feeling, every anger, every sadness, every laughter, everything I kept it sealed within me. I do open up sometimes but I'm picky on who I let it out to. Once, I thought I had friends I could rely on and I shared my feeling with them and only to find out that they used whatever i said just to screw me up at the end of the day. People are cruel. Some pretend to be your best friend just to dig out information from you and use them to their advantage. That was a long time ago and since that moment, I trusted no one but myself. I trusted my heart on who to put my trust on.
For that, I'm ever so grateful for the people who were there for me whenever I needed them. I know that they will always be here for me. I'll never take advantage for their constant support. I apologize if I ever made any of you feel like I'm burden or sometimes annoying. LOL.
omg, I should stop here. I know I don't have many readers. If you people need anyone to talk to, you can always call me. I'm a good listener.
anyway, gtg! I just got a phone call one of my friend got into an accident! @@!!
Life is so unpredictable.
Saturday, 23 October 2010
I want
Picture credits to Elle
Bangsar's outlet is way much better than Times Square's outlet.
If only they have one outlet in Ampang. T.T
Monday, 27 September 2010
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiii
This week would be my last week of college. I never thought that this will come knocking my door so soon. I'll be having study week from next week onwards. *exhales*
My final exam falls on the 18th of October 2010. It ends on the 18th of November. I'll be re-taking Biology for my AS Level. Hmm... I never thought I will redo this subject but I am. -.-
I've already started studying full time. No more fooling around as much as before. =)
Im hungry now. -.- Imma get something to eat and continue with whatever I'm doing. =D
Wednesday, 8 September 2010
Things
I want us back to the way we used to be. The ones where we used to talk to each other. We used to spend hours and hours of non-stop talking.
We always have lunch together, sometimes dinner and breakfast occasionally. I miss the times when we were enjoying ourselves in each others company. I remember us being so happy that it really shows through our faces.
Now, things are monotonous and stale. I really wanna turn this around and relive those moments we had.
Or maybe thing happening right now is normal in every relationship? I hope so.
Honestly, I have a lot of things i gotta do but have a lot of things bugging me in my head and this is just one of them. I keep complaining about how hard A-Levels is and how stressful is it for me. Its time consuming andI have to study most of my time. Even if I have some free time, I feel uneasy. The things I enjoy doing like watching tv, online, shopping, sleeping and camping at the bookshop seems like a waste of time.
Sometimes, I'm torn between spending time with my boyfriend and my studies.. I know I can always put either of it on hold for a moment but I just don't like having to choose. I'm willing to pick any of it but I don't want to feel guilty for what I choose to do with my time.
I hardly do any outdoor activities for the past 2 years. I put it on hold as well. I used to wake up early in the morning to jog, take a bath and have my breakfast. I remember the times I used to go for a swim. I used to dance and I stopped for awhile due to several reasons and time is one of it.
Judging by the things I just wrote, I spend so much time studying and I don't get a string of A's on my results. Are my methods of studying wrong? Hmm... I don't know. So far, I only have average grades.
My social life is partially gone because I'd rather spend my time at home catching up with some sleep. Its not that I don't hang out with friends anymore, I still do but I spend less time.
I'm fully aware that whatever I'm going through right now is just another phase in life. A Levels is like a pass to University. The purpose of A-Levels is to fully prepare one to face the challenges that one may face in university or similar or probably worse. (depends on what course you're taking. HEHE =P)
I somehow can't fully express my thoughts here and I would end it here.
ps : I love you very much, baby. We'll be okay. I mean, we'll be awesome! =)
We always have lunch together, sometimes dinner and breakfast occasionally. I miss the times when we were enjoying ourselves in each others company. I remember us being so happy that it really shows through our faces.
Now, things are monotonous and stale. I really wanna turn this around and relive those moments we had.
Or maybe thing happening right now is normal in every relationship? I hope so.
Honestly, I have a lot of things i gotta do but have a lot of things bugging me in my head and this is just one of them. I keep complaining about how hard A-Levels is and how stressful is it for me. Its time consuming andI have to study most of my time. Even if I have some free time, I feel uneasy. The things I enjoy doing like watching tv, online, shopping, sleeping and camping at the bookshop seems like a waste of time.
Sometimes, I'm torn between spending time with my boyfriend and my studies.. I know I can always put either of it on hold for a moment but I just don't like having to choose. I'm willing to pick any of it but I don't want to feel guilty for what I choose to do with my time.
I hardly do any outdoor activities for the past 2 years. I put it on hold as well. I used to wake up early in the morning to jog, take a bath and have my breakfast. I remember the times I used to go for a swim. I used to dance and I stopped for awhile due to several reasons and time is one of it.
Judging by the things I just wrote, I spend so much time studying and I don't get a string of A's on my results. Are my methods of studying wrong? Hmm... I don't know. So far, I only have average grades.
My social life is partially gone because I'd rather spend my time at home catching up with some sleep. Its not that I don't hang out with friends anymore, I still do but I spend less time.
I'm fully aware that whatever I'm going through right now is just another phase in life. A Levels is like a pass to University. The purpose of A-Levels is to fully prepare one to face the challenges that one may face in university or similar or probably worse. (depends on what course you're taking. HEHE =P)
I somehow can't fully express my thoughts here and I would end it here.
ps : I love you very much, baby. We'll be okay. I mean, we'll be awesome! =)
Thursday, 26 August 2010
I need a booster dose of hard work, focus, determination and patience.
I got my AS Exam results about 2 weeks ago. I wouldn't say I'm happy or sad with my results. Somehow I'm just a lil bit disappointed after all the effort I've put in. I may not be as hardworking or as intelligent as my other classmates but I've done everything within my abilities. I didn't score any A's which was not a surprise but I manage to score some B's and C's.
But anywayyyyyy, I'm not gonna give up! =D I've decided to redo my Biology papers for AS this October, together with the A2 Exam. It means I'll have double doses for Biology because I'll be sitting for 5 papers. I don't wanna redo everything because I think I would end up in a mental institution. =D
Looks like my hands are tied up. I seriously have a lot of studying, revisions and past year papers to do. My sleeping hours are so gonna be screwed again. Occasionally, I might just forget to eat. My mood will swing and you wont find me anywhere else because you can either find me in college or at home.
I'm also literally broke. Financially broke.
@@ I'll be alright..
But anywayyyyyy, I'm not gonna give up! =D I've decided to redo my Biology papers for AS this October, together with the A2 Exam. It means I'll have double doses for Biology because I'll be sitting for 5 papers. I don't wanna redo everything because I think I would end up in a mental institution. =D
Looks like my hands are tied up. I seriously have a lot of studying, revisions and past year papers to do. My sleeping hours are so gonna be screwed again. Occasionally, I might just forget to eat. My mood will swing and you wont find me anywhere else because you can either find me in college or at home.
I'm also literally broke. Financially broke.
@@ I'll be alright..
Wednesday, 25 August 2010
"Teenage Dream" - Official Lyric Video
Imma put your heart racing
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your Teenage Dream
Tonight.
I loveeeee this song coz its really catchy and it somehow makes me happy. LOL
Love how Katy Perry jumble up those words in her lyrics. HEEHEEEHEE.
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your Teenage Dream
Tonight.
I loveeeee this song coz its really catchy and it somehow makes me happy. LOL
Love how Katy Perry jumble up those words in her lyrics. HEEHEEEHEE.
Thursday, 19 August 2010
angry
Im not happy, angry, annoyed, frustrated and someone please help me insert more unhappy feelings to complete my sentence.
Have you ever felt so annoyed and angry that you just wanna scream your lungs out?!?!
This is exactly how I feel right now.
Take note on the time I post this. Its almost 1 a.m and my schedule tmr ain't making me feel better.
UGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever felt so annoyed and angry that you just wanna scream your lungs out?!?!
This is exactly how I feel right now.
Take note on the time I post this. Its almost 1 a.m and my schedule tmr ain't making me feel better.
UGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Monday, 16 August 2010
Friday, 13 August 2010
Cupcakes!
I have a slight obsession with cupcakes right now for god knows what reason. Maybe the the feeling of being high with sugar. =DDDD
Elle and I were at KLCC last week. She dragged me to KLCC to see Yao Bang. -.-" why am I not surprise. Out of boredom, I saw this stall nearby the cinema and escalators.
Cupcakes!!
I've been eyeing on these colourful and attractive cupcakes for awhile now. So, I decided hey, why not I just give it a shot?
I got one for myself and the other one for Elle.
Now, I so wanna get just another one.. or maybe two. =D teheheheee
Elle and I were at KLCC last week. She dragged me to KLCC to see Yao Bang. -.-" why am I not surprise. Out of boredom, I saw this stall nearby the cinema and escalators.
Cupcakes!!
I've been eyeing on these colourful and attractive cupcakes for awhile now. So, I decided hey, why not I just give it a shot?
I got one for myself and the other one for Elle.
Its too cute to be eaten. =P
wow, this is so sinful.
The pink colour vanilla icing and its perfectly moist chocolate cupcake.
Not too wet and not too dry. I wouldn't really consider it moist actually.
Elle picked a Vanilla cupcake with Nutella.
I'm not sure how it taste like but it should be good. =D
Muahahaha!
Its gone!!! =D
I think i could eat 10 of these and not feeling guilty where all the sugar will go.
One of these cost RM5.
Kinda pricey for just one cupcake. =/
I'm torn between having to say its not really worth it and that its worth it.
Nonetheless, I'm feeling that its somehow worth it.
Now, I so wanna get just another one.. or maybe two. =D teheheheee
Sunday, 8 August 2010
Wednesday, 4 August 2010
Golden Statue
This was actually months ago. It was taken somewhere in April at Batu Caves. Yes, I went to Batu Caves. =D I never thought I would actually.
Its my second time here but it felt like its my first time here. My parents brought me here when i was really young. Probably I was four or five that time. So, that doesn't count I guess. =DDD
This trip was like a last minute thing and I'm so glad I didn't turn down this opportunity. If you're wondering what in the world I'm actually doing here, do look forward to my next blog post. ooh! I wasn't here to pray or pray some respect but I somehow did?? LOL.
Its my second time here but it felt like its my first time here. My parents brought me here when i was really young. Probably I was four or five that time. So, that doesn't count I guess. =DDD
This trip was like a last minute thing and I'm so glad I didn't turn down this opportunity. If you're wondering what in the world I'm actually doing here, do look forward to my next blog post. ooh! I wasn't here to pray or pray some respect but I somehow did?? LOL.
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I miss College.
My A Levels exam ended two and a half weeks ago. My college days also ended two and a half weeks ago. Its hard to believe how so many things changed in one and a half years.
I've met so many people and made so many friends from all walks of life. I've learnt a whole lot of things in A Levels which is a deeper understanding about the world we live in.
Tunku Abdul Rahman College also known as TARC was never the first choice of colleges in my list. My parents were the one who persuaded me to study A Levels here. They said there is no point paying so much more on tuition fees like in Taylor's or HELP for the same paper that the whole world is gonna sit for. Except that HELP College is Edexcel whereas TARC and Taylors offer Cambridge A Levels. Being a banana in TARC, I discovered I wasn't alone coz there were many other people in the same shoes as I am. My lecturers are overall awesome people. They're dedicated, obviously very knowledgeable, hardworking and funny people. There are a few lecturer who were..... well, not so good in my opinion. Not so good in terms of delivering the knowledge. For what its worth, I'm glad that I chose TARC. =)
I can't sum everything about my college life in one post. I should have done that before but I'm lazy to do so. It has been a bittersweet year. After all the exams stress, sleepless nights, falling sick so many times and hours of studying, all of those things has come to an end. Despite suffering academically, I totally enjoyed the company of my college mates who never fail to brighten up my day. There were misunderstanding and differences in opinion and character, but thats just life. I cannot please everyone.
Now, I'm at home most of the time missing the days where I have to wake up as early as 6 a.m. and drive to college early just to get a parking spot. (coz I don't have a car sticker to park inside the college compound) I miss attending lecture classes where I get to chit chat with friends from other classes and sleep during Biology lectures coz it was really monotonous and boring. I miss having lunch with different groups of friends. I miss my chemistry lectures and Mr Loh, our Chemistry Lecturer with is sarcasm, funny and eccentric personality that never failed to somehow entertain all of us and boost our motivation to do better not just in our studies but as a whole individual. oh god, I miss everything..
I've met so many people and made so many friends from all walks of life. I've learnt a whole lot of things in A Levels which is a deeper understanding about the world we live in.
Tunku Abdul Rahman College also known as TARC was never the first choice of colleges in my list. My parents were the one who persuaded me to study A Levels here. They said there is no point paying so much more on tuition fees like in Taylor's or HELP for the same paper that the whole world is gonna sit for. Except that HELP College is Edexcel whereas TARC and Taylors offer Cambridge A Levels. Being a banana in TARC, I discovered I wasn't alone coz there were many other people in the same shoes as I am. My lecturers are overall awesome people. They're dedicated, obviously very knowledgeable, hardworking and funny people. There are a few lecturer who were..... well, not so good in my opinion. Not so good in terms of delivering the knowledge. For what its worth, I'm glad that I chose TARC. =)
I can't sum everything about my college life in one post. I should have done that before but I'm lazy to do so. It has been a bittersweet year. After all the exams stress, sleepless nights, falling sick so many times and hours of studying, all of those things has come to an end. Despite suffering academically, I totally enjoyed the company of my college mates who never fail to brighten up my day. There were misunderstanding and differences in opinion and character, but thats just life. I cannot please everyone.
Now, I'm at home most of the time missing the days where I have to wake up as early as 6 a.m. and drive to college early just to get a parking spot. (coz I don't have a car sticker to park inside the college compound) I miss attending lecture classes where I get to chit chat with friends from other classes and sleep during Biology lectures coz it was really monotonous and boring. I miss having lunch with different groups of friends. I miss my chemistry lectures and Mr Loh, our Chemistry Lecturer with is sarcasm, funny and eccentric personality that never failed to somehow entertain all of us and boost our motivation to do better not just in our studies but as a whole individual. oh god, I miss everything..
from boys to men.
Life.
Today, I woke up listening to the sound of speeding cars outside my window, the screeching sound of the car brakes. The neighbour downstairs are drilling their walls. At this hour?
As usual, I rose up from my bed leaving my bed just as it is. I gave up making my bed 3 months ago. Breakfast was non-existent because I never woke up any earlier than 12 noon. Lunch was either leftover food or fast food or chicken rice. Sometimes I don't even eat because I was sick of eating out and I don't know what else to eat.
The best part in the afternoon was taking a bath. I looked in the mirror everyday thinking of whether or not should I wash my hair today? I'll flipped my hair around trying to make some silly hairstyles or trying to figure out if I should change my hairstyle. I realised my hair is too long already. Its length is more than enough to cover my breasts and for whatever reason, I don't wanna cut them and leave it as it is. My mum complains that theres way too much hair on the floor nowadays and also in the toilet. Obviously its mine. Even my room is filled with hair almost everywhere. My pillow, my bed, study table, floor, dustbin and even in my drawers. Yes, I'm losing a lot of hair but my hair is still as thick as it is.
I stay at home most of the days for the past 2 months. I barely go to college and I only go when I needed to. My exams took a toll on my sleeping hours and ofcourse my life. I spent the rest of my day locked up inside my room studying although I take very frequent breaks to the toilet, kitchen and sometimes going online.
For dinner, food was always take aways. I look forward for dinner because at least I have my mum and Elle around to eat together. I eat lunch alone most of my time. Occasionally with friends. My dad wasn't always around having dinner with us. Well, actually for the past few years , my dad was never together with us in one table eating with us. The 3 of used somehow got used to eating just the 3 of us. Even if he joined us for dinner, things aren't the same. Somehow its awkward coz I don't know what to say to him. My dad spends most of his time watching telly. I get very defensive if he were to scold me abt things.
I spend the rest of my night studying. I felt contented at where am I at that time. I know I was doing this for my future and sometimes I can imagine that I'll always look back and think about how much effort I've put in to do well for my A Levels. Sometimes, all I could think of is giving up. But I can never imagine how my life would turn out if I gave up. All i could think of is not giving up and continue to whatever I was doing. A levels is fucking hard. I can now safely say that I hate whatever I've learnt is high school because it was never enough to prepare myself for what A Levels has to offer to me, study wise. The reason why I felt like giving up because I keep failing in my tests after spending so much time and effort for it. But somehow or another I manage to survive. I've achieved results within my expectations and not by others.
I sleep at 3 am almost everyday. Sometimes at 5 am.
I've become lazy in certain ways because I am too tired to care. I've lost quite a lot of weight. I was 52 kilos in January and now, I'm 45 kilos. I've lost 3 sizes when I bought a new pair of jeans. After buying that pair of jeans, it finally hit me that I need to do something.
I realised I kept everything to myself. Almost every feeling, every anger, every sadness, every laughter, everything I kept it sealed within me. I do open up sometimes but I'm picky on who I let it out to. Once, I thought I had friends I could rely on and I shared my feeling with them and only to find out that they used whatever i said just to screw me up at the end of the day. People are cruel. Some pretend to be your best friend just to dig out information from you and use them to their advantage. That was a long time ago and since that moment, I trusted no one but myself. I trusted my heart on who to put my trust on.
For that, I'm ever so grateful for the people who were there for me whenever I needed them. I know that they will always be here for me. I'll never take advantage for their constant support. I apologize if I ever made any of you feel like I'm burden or sometimes annoying. LOL.
omg, I should stop here. I know I don't have many readers. If you people need anyone to talk to, you can always call me. I'm a good listener.
anyway, gtg! I just got a phone call one of my friend got into an accident! @@!!
Life is so unpredictable.
As usual, I rose up from my bed leaving my bed just as it is. I gave up making my bed 3 months ago. Breakfast was non-existent because I never woke up any earlier than 12 noon. Lunch was either leftover food or fast food or chicken rice. Sometimes I don't even eat because I was sick of eating out and I don't know what else to eat.
The best part in the afternoon was taking a bath. I looked in the mirror everyday thinking of whether or not should I wash my hair today? I'll flipped my hair around trying to make some silly hairstyles or trying to figure out if I should change my hairstyle. I realised my hair is too long already. Its length is more than enough to cover my breasts and for whatever reason, I don't wanna cut them and leave it as it is. My mum complains that theres way too much hair on the floor nowadays and also in the toilet. Obviously its mine. Even my room is filled with hair almost everywhere. My pillow, my bed, study table, floor, dustbin and even in my drawers. Yes, I'm losing a lot of hair but my hair is still as thick as it is.
I stay at home most of the days for the past 2 months. I barely go to college and I only go when I needed to. My exams took a toll on my sleeping hours and ofcourse my life. I spent the rest of my day locked up inside my room studying although I take very frequent breaks to the toilet, kitchen and sometimes going online.
For dinner, food was always take aways. I look forward for dinner because at least I have my mum and Elle around to eat together. I eat lunch alone most of my time. Occasionally with friends. My dad wasn't always around having dinner with us. Well, actually for the past few years , my dad was never together with us in one table eating with us. The 3 of used somehow got used to eating just the 3 of us. Even if he joined us for dinner, things aren't the same. Somehow its awkward coz I don't know what to say to him. My dad spends most of his time watching telly. I get very defensive if he were to scold me abt things.
I spend the rest of my night studying. I felt contented at where am I at that time. I know I was doing this for my future and sometimes I can imagine that I'll always look back and think about how much effort I've put in to do well for my A Levels. Sometimes, all I could think of is giving up. But I can never imagine how my life would turn out if I gave up. All i could think of is not giving up and continue to whatever I was doing. A levels is fucking hard. I can now safely say that I hate whatever I've learnt is high school because it was never enough to prepare myself for what A Levels has to offer to me, study wise. The reason why I felt like giving up because I keep failing in my tests after spending so much time and effort for it. But somehow or another I manage to survive. I've achieved results within my expectations and not by others.
I sleep at 3 am almost everyday. Sometimes at 5 am.
I've become lazy in certain ways because I am too tired to care. I've lost quite a lot of weight. I was 52 kilos in January and now, I'm 45 kilos. I've lost 3 sizes when I bought a new pair of jeans. After buying that pair of jeans, it finally hit me that I need to do something.
I realised I kept everything to myself. Almost every feeling, every anger, every sadness, every laughter, everything I kept it sealed within me. I do open up sometimes but I'm picky on who I let it out to. Once, I thought I had friends I could rely on and I shared my feeling with them and only to find out that they used whatever i said just to screw me up at the end of the day. People are cruel. Some pretend to be your best friend just to dig out information from you and use them to their advantage. That was a long time ago and since that moment, I trusted no one but myself. I trusted my heart on who to put my trust on.
For that, I'm ever so grateful for the people who were there for me whenever I needed them. I know that they will always be here for me. I'll never take advantage for their constant support. I apologize if I ever made any of you feel like I'm burden or sometimes annoying. LOL.
omg, I should stop here. I know I don't have many readers. If you people need anyone to talk to, you can always call me. I'm a good listener.
anyway, gtg! I just got a phone call one of my friend got into an accident! @@!!
Life is so unpredictable.
I want
Picture credits to Elle
Bangsar's outlet is way much better than Times Square's outlet.
If only they have one outlet in Ampang. T.T
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiii
This week would be my last week of college. I never thought that this will come knocking my door so soon. I'll be having study week from next week onwards. *exhales*
My final exam falls on the 18th of October 2010. It ends on the 18th of November. I'll be re-taking Biology for my AS Level. Hmm... I never thought I will redo this subject but I am. -.-
I've already started studying full time. No more fooling around as much as before. =)
Im hungry now. -.- Imma get something to eat and continue with whatever I'm doing. =D
Things
I want us back to the way we used to be. The ones where we used to talk to each other. We used to spend hours and hours of non-stop talking.
We always have lunch together, sometimes dinner and breakfast occasionally. I miss the times when we were enjoying ourselves in each others company. I remember us being so happy that it really shows through our faces.
Now, things are monotonous and stale. I really wanna turn this around and relive those moments we had.
Or maybe thing happening right now is normal in every relationship? I hope so.
Honestly, I have a lot of things i gotta do but have a lot of things bugging me in my head and this is just one of them. I keep complaining about how hard A-Levels is and how stressful is it for me. Its time consuming andI have to study most of my time. Even if I have some free time, I feel uneasy. The things I enjoy doing like watching tv, online, shopping, sleeping and camping at the bookshop seems like a waste of time.
Sometimes, I'm torn between spending time with my boyfriend and my studies.. I know I can always put either of it on hold for a moment but I just don't like having to choose. I'm willing to pick any of it but I don't want to feel guilty for what I choose to do with my time.
I hardly do any outdoor activities for the past 2 years. I put it on hold as well. I used to wake up early in the morning to jog, take a bath and have my breakfast. I remember the times I used to go for a swim. I used to dance and I stopped for awhile due to several reasons and time is one of it.
Judging by the things I just wrote, I spend so much time studying and I don't get a string of A's on my results. Are my methods of studying wrong? Hmm... I don't know. So far, I only have average grades.
My social life is partially gone because I'd rather spend my time at home catching up with some sleep. Its not that I don't hang out with friends anymore, I still do but I spend less time.
I'm fully aware that whatever I'm going through right now is just another phase in life. A Levels is like a pass to University. The purpose of A-Levels is to fully prepare one to face the challenges that one may face in university or similar or probably worse. (depends on what course you're taking. HEHE =P)
I somehow can't fully express my thoughts here and I would end it here.
ps : I love you very much, baby. We'll be okay. I mean, we'll be awesome! =)
We always have lunch together, sometimes dinner and breakfast occasionally. I miss the times when we were enjoying ourselves in each others company. I remember us being so happy that it really shows through our faces.
Now, things are monotonous and stale. I really wanna turn this around and relive those moments we had.
Or maybe thing happening right now is normal in every relationship? I hope so.
Honestly, I have a lot of things i gotta do but have a lot of things bugging me in my head and this is just one of them. I keep complaining about how hard A-Levels is and how stressful is it for me. Its time consuming andI have to study most of my time. Even if I have some free time, I feel uneasy. The things I enjoy doing like watching tv, online, shopping, sleeping and camping at the bookshop seems like a waste of time.
Sometimes, I'm torn between spending time with my boyfriend and my studies.. I know I can always put either of it on hold for a moment but I just don't like having to choose. I'm willing to pick any of it but I don't want to feel guilty for what I choose to do with my time.
I hardly do any outdoor activities for the past 2 years. I put it on hold as well. I used to wake up early in the morning to jog, take a bath and have my breakfast. I remember the times I used to go for a swim. I used to dance and I stopped for awhile due to several reasons and time is one of it.
Judging by the things I just wrote, I spend so much time studying and I don't get a string of A's on my results. Are my methods of studying wrong? Hmm... I don't know. So far, I only have average grades.
My social life is partially gone because I'd rather spend my time at home catching up with some sleep. Its not that I don't hang out with friends anymore, I still do but I spend less time.
I'm fully aware that whatever I'm going through right now is just another phase in life. A Levels is like a pass to University. The purpose of A-Levels is to fully prepare one to face the challenges that one may face in university or similar or probably worse. (depends on what course you're taking. HEHE =P)
I somehow can't fully express my thoughts here and I would end it here.
ps : I love you very much, baby. We'll be okay. I mean, we'll be awesome! =)
I need a booster dose of hard work, focus, determination and patience.
I got my AS Exam results about 2 weeks ago. I wouldn't say I'm happy or sad with my results. Somehow I'm just a lil bit disappointed after all the effort I've put in. I may not be as hardworking or as intelligent as my other classmates but I've done everything within my abilities. I didn't score any A's which was not a surprise but I manage to score some B's and C's.
But anywayyyyyy, I'm not gonna give up! =D I've decided to redo my Biology papers for AS this October, together with the A2 Exam. It means I'll have double doses for Biology because I'll be sitting for 5 papers. I don't wanna redo everything because I think I would end up in a mental institution. =D
Looks like my hands are tied up. I seriously have a lot of studying, revisions and past year papers to do. My sleeping hours are so gonna be screwed again. Occasionally, I might just forget to eat. My mood will swing and you wont find me anywhere else because you can either find me in college or at home.
I'm also literally broke. Financially broke.
@@ I'll be alright..
But anywayyyyyy, I'm not gonna give up! =D I've decided to redo my Biology papers for AS this October, together with the A2 Exam. It means I'll have double doses for Biology because I'll be sitting for 5 papers. I don't wanna redo everything because I think I would end up in a mental institution. =D
Looks like my hands are tied up. I seriously have a lot of studying, revisions and past year papers to do. My sleeping hours are so gonna be screwed again. Occasionally, I might just forget to eat. My mood will swing and you wont find me anywhere else because you can either find me in college or at home.
I'm also literally broke. Financially broke.
@@ I'll be alright..
"Teenage Dream" - Official Lyric Video
Imma put your heart racing
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your Teenage Dream
Tonight.
I loveeeee this song coz its really catchy and it somehow makes me happy. LOL
Love how Katy Perry jumble up those words in her lyrics. HEEHEEEHEE.
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your Teenage Dream
Tonight.
I loveeeee this song coz its really catchy and it somehow makes me happy. LOL
Love how Katy Perry jumble up those words in her lyrics. HEEHEEEHEE.
angry
Im not happy, angry, annoyed, frustrated and someone please help me insert more unhappy feelings to complete my sentence.
Have you ever felt so annoyed and angry that you just wanna scream your lungs out?!?!
This is exactly how I feel right now.
Take note on the time I post this. Its almost 1 a.m and my schedule tmr ain't making me feel better.
UGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever felt so annoyed and angry that you just wanna scream your lungs out?!?!
This is exactly how I feel right now.
Take note on the time I post this. Its almost 1 a.m and my schedule tmr ain't making me feel better.
UGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Cupcakes!
I have a slight obsession with cupcakes right now for god knows what reason. Maybe the the feeling of being high with sugar. =DDDD
Elle and I were at KLCC last week. She dragged me to KLCC to see Yao Bang. -.-" why am I not surprise. Out of boredom, I saw this stall nearby the cinema and escalators.
Cupcakes!!
I've been eyeing on these colourful and attractive cupcakes for awhile now. So, I decided hey, why not I just give it a shot?
I got one for myself and the other one for Elle.
Now, I so wanna get just another one.. or maybe two. =D teheheheee
Elle and I were at KLCC last week. She dragged me to KLCC to see Yao Bang. -.-" why am I not surprise. Out of boredom, I saw this stall nearby the cinema and escalators.
Cupcakes!!
I've been eyeing on these colourful and attractive cupcakes for awhile now. So, I decided hey, why not I just give it a shot?
I got one for myself and the other one for Elle.
Its too cute to be eaten. =P
wow, this is so sinful.
The pink colour vanilla icing and its perfectly moist chocolate cupcake.
Not too wet and not too dry. I wouldn't really consider it moist actually.
Elle picked a Vanilla cupcake with Nutella.
I'm not sure how it taste like but it should be good. =D
Muahahaha!
Its gone!!! =D
I think i could eat 10 of these and not feeling guilty where all the sugar will go.
One of these cost RM5.
Kinda pricey for just one cupcake. =/
I'm torn between having to say its not really worth it and that its worth it.
Nonetheless, I'm feeling that its somehow worth it.
Now, I so wanna get just another one.. or maybe two. =D teheheheee
Golden Statue
This was actually months ago. It was taken somewhere in April at Batu Caves. Yes, I went to Batu Caves. =D I never thought I would actually.
Its my second time here but it felt like its my first time here. My parents brought me here when i was really young. Probably I was four or five that time. So, that doesn't count I guess. =DDD
This trip was like a last minute thing and I'm so glad I didn't turn down this opportunity. If you're wondering what in the world I'm actually doing here, do look forward to my next blog post. ooh! I wasn't here to pray or pray some respect but I somehow did?? LOL.
Its my second time here but it felt like its my first time here. My parents brought me here when i was really young. Probably I was four or five that time. So, that doesn't count I guess. =DDD
This trip was like a last minute thing and I'm so glad I didn't turn down this opportunity. If you're wondering what in the world I'm actually doing here, do look forward to my next blog post. ooh! I wasn't here to pray or pray some respect but I somehow did?? LOL.
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