A not so lovely week.

For the past 1 week, I felt different. I felt emotionally different. I don't know if my heart changed or it stays the same because I feel different.

I feel tired. Physically and Emotionally, I'm tired. I really am. College starts as early as 8 a.m. At 7.15 a.m, I am already in the car with my dad nagging at me. Not a good start for the day. It has been going on for almost a week and I hate being nagged at every morning. When I'm in college, its the only time where I don't remember the pain I have in this heavy heart. In college, is where I met Stress.

Stress makes me worry. It makes me work hard for what I want to acheive now and later on in life. I'm worried. Sometimes, I worry too much. It has come to a point where I just don't give a damn anymore.

The things I have to study and the work I have to finish, piles up.

I got home from college. I was dead beat. Afternoon naps are my escapism from reality. I feel contented that I dont have to worry for a few hours in a day. Sometimes, afternoon naps turns into a 12-hour sleep. I'll be awake the next morning, getting ready for college. The cycle repeats.

For the past 1 week, I felt really different. I don't know where my heart is. I start to question myself what Love is. For a moment I knew what Love is.

I could spend hours talking on the phone with never-ending things to tell you. Even if we hung up the phone 5 minutes ago.

I used to go to sleep feeling contented and blissful because I somehow feel that the next day would be another day I felt like I could jump around with joy written all over my face.

I love the way you wrap your hands around my waist.

I love it when you talk to me in that cute voice which makes feel like pinching your cheeks.

I love you more than I love Banana Leaf Rice.

I always believe that it is vital to be truthful and to be honest with yourself, with life and also the people you love.

*

Now, since the day I told you to go home to Sherlock Holmes, I felt like I've lost part of my heart as it filled itself with void.

I couldn't look into your eyes the same way anymore because I see it differently now.

My feelings fluctuates drastically.

I keep reminding myself what we've gone through, the things you do that brightens up my day. Sometimes, it makes me smile every night before I go to sleep. Hoping that this sad feeling will go away and hoping that it was just temporary.

I accept it for what it is.

I gave Love a chance.

It still hurts.

and for now, I'm lost with words.

I just wanna sleep....

*throat thickens...*